Feeling like crap…

So it has been a while since I wrote a blog posting.  I am sure that you have missed my musings, or maybe not, especially after the odd attempt at literary expertise by writing a story with as many song titles from my iTunes library as possible.  You may have wondered where I was, what I was doing, would I ever return.  You may have wondered, “Randy who?” and then continued on with your everyday life.  But alas, I am here and if you are still reading, you must be a relative…or someone that is suffering from insomnia, or a groupie that I haven’t met.

So where was I these last few weeks?  Well, I could say that I just haven’t been motivated, wasn’t inspired, or just plain didn’t have the time.  But I realize, as truthful as those three excuses may be, they lay the foundation for many reason why I shouldn’t blog at all.  But I like to blog so I need a different reason for a short hiatus.

I could claim that I was sick.  I wasn’t but I could claim it because not only would that be a valid reason, it would be one that draws sympathy.  Instant forgiveness…nothing better than that.  I could simply say that I have felt like crap lately and you would probably understand and think nothing of my absence.  But I haven’t felt like crap lately so I won’t be using that as an excuse, but I will use it for my topic today.

One of the gadgets that I have on my Windows Sidebar (something you may be familiar with if you have Windows Vista) is the Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day. For today (Nov. 16, 2010) the word is “crapulous”.  I know what you are thinking…because after I saw the word I thought the same things.  And I will tell you right now, if you dwell on it, you will start to think other things.

Merriam-Webster says that crapulous is an adjective with two meanings.  The first: marked by intemperance especially in eating or drinking.  The second: sick from excessive indulgence in liquor.  Though I have never been inebriated myself, I have had friends that achieved that status and as an end result said they felt like crap.  I am sure they didn’t feel that way while they were excessively indulging in liquor.  Maybe they already felt like crap so they chose to drink in excess to forget about it.  I don’t know.  But it doesn’t relate to just alcohol.  Notice the first definition refers to intemperance in eating.  Now I am guilty.  And I would be willing to bet you are too.

Who doesn’t overeat at least once in a while?  I do…in fact, I will again next week.  And I just might do it sometime this week.  It all depends on what my choices are for meals each day.  If we have another pizza fest, I will likely show intemperance with my eating and could very possibly feel like crap shortly after.  More appropriately said; I will be crapulous.

So why do we do that to ourselves?  Because we don’t think about being crapulous while we are in the act of indulgence.  Indulgence, whether with food or drink, is mainly done in celebration of something.  Like the next time I have intemperance with eating pizza.  I will be celebrating the fact that I get to eat pizza, and I will be celebrating even more if it is my wife’s homemade pizza.  And once I have downed thirteen and a half pieces (the half will be my daughters…I can’t let it go to waste) I will likely be crapulous.  Yep, after that much pizza I probably will feel like crap.  But I am sure it will be a euphoric crapulous state.  One that will misguide me into thinking about eating ice cream…especially since ice cream doesn’t really take any extra room in my stomach (it just fills in the cracks).  And when I am crapulous, I will be saying to everyone around that “it was sooooo worth it” and probably something else like “don’t get in my way between here and the bathroom” as I decide to share my crapulous situation with the royal porcelain thrown.  And if you have been crapulous according to the second definition, you know exactly what I mean.

So next week as we all approach the table to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast we need to ask ourselves if we are ready to be crapulous or not.  If you skip the appetizers and only have one serving of food, you probably won’t be crapulous.  However, if you hit the all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet at the local restaurant, followed by overindulgence on the Thanksgiving feast, completed with not just pie and ice cream for dessert but a couple of glasses of eggnog (getting a head start on the Christmas season) as you make your way to the couch to watch a football game while munching on chips, dip, peanuts, and coke (diet & caffeine free for health reason I assume), then you will be crapulous.  I will make sure to not cross the path between you and the bathroom.

Just another view from a Palmtree.


iTunes Libraries: Something you have never heard…

Your Eyes Don’t Lie. This is a story made up of song titles, with a few extra words mixed in. But it is More Than Words…it is kind of like a Real Life Fairytale. Heck, it could be the Greatest Story Ever Told. But if it is a Fairytale, it is a Fabulous one at that. And I do Count My Blessings that I have been Blessed with the ability to Make a Memory with the Dreams and Grand Illusions that I put on paper.

Yes, it took a lot of effort to Work This Out but I am a Working Man and I did have to Start All Over more than once. The story was a Long Time Coming, in fact is seemed to take the Longest Time, but it was a lot of fun and made me really get creative. I just had to Keep Pushin’ On. I really had to use some Keys to Imagination to write this. Would I Lie To You about this? I would Never Tell a Lie. So Kick Back, Relax, Take it Easy and Take a Chance On Me and my creativity. Let Me Entertain You with yet another of the interesting Stories I Tell. After all, this could be the Start of Something New.

And now, the story…

Amanda was The New Girl in Town. It was a Little Town in the northern part of California. From September until May there weren’t many residents, but they were a Shiny Happy People. It was in June that things got Crazy. There was a large tourist industry during the summer because of all the campers and boaters that liked to visit the lake. Lakeside Park was the most popular place to stay for the boaters. Everyone else stayed mostly in Cottonwood Camp, though there were a few small campgrounds scattered Here, There and Everywhere that the eye could see from the marina.

Life in a Northern Town definitely had its benefits. With smaller populations, you knew when you had a True Friend or not. The Nicest Kids in Town were the full-timers. The kids from out of town were pretty self-centered. Once in a while there would be a Lonely Stranger that would come to town who was friendly and never caused any trouble.

The Jane family had been around for quite a while. Hanna Jane and Liza Jane, twin sisters, were the first girls that Amanda became friends with when she moved to America from Alberta. They weren’t interested in Playing With The Boys. When the three girls got together, it was nothing but mischief, especially during the summer.

One of their favorite places to play was down by The River. It flowed next to Seven Bridges Road, which was named such because it was a curvy road that crossed the river seven times from one end of town to the other. Bedlam Bridge was their favorite place to play because that is where the river flowed most calmly and yet not many people would go there.

This particular day was a Day Without Rain. Daybreak at Timp Point, about ten miles east of town, showed a cloudless sky, though the Stars of Wharburton were still shining faintly in the west. It was going to be a Beautiful Day. How Beautiful Upon the Mountains were the first rays of the sun on this particular day. It was a Sunday Morning and had the makings for another Lazy Day of summer.

One by One the girls were to meet up at the 59th Street Bridge before heading down the road. The twins would have to come separately so that their mother, who most people referred to as Miss Claire, wouldn’t suspect a thing. If it had been up to her they would have been in church that day. They were true Partners In Crime. Amanda’s dad, Doctor Robert (who preferred to be called by his first name of Marvin), wasn’t much of a church going person so he had no problem letting his Girl leave the house and Run Away to play with her new friends. Amanda’s mom, Roxanne, was a little more hesitant.

Mandy”, she said, “I feel like you are going out Into the Great Wide Open. It is a big, unknown country that we live in. Don’t go Running Down a Dream that might get you in trouble.

Mama, I’m a Big Girl Now”, she replied. “I’m the New Kid in Town and I Want to Break Free and see what is around this place. Right Here, Right Now. Not next year or even next week. I’ll Be Alright Without You. Trust me. I’m just an American Girl with Sweet Dreams of adventure. Nothing bad will happen.”

“Okay,” relented her mom. “Just Don’t Go Breaking My Heart and Run Away to someplace I can’t find you.”

With that Amanda was out the door and Running down the road in a Rush to meet up with her friends.

Though the weather was beautiful that day, the river was running a little faster and wilder than normal. Amanda was the first to arrive. She didn’t see the twins anywhere. She watched the water Rollin’ and Tumblin’ over the rocks in the riverbed. There was no traffic on this side of town so there was nothing to Listen to but the sounds of the river and the birds in the air. She looked up at the Blue Skies and noticed a Heavy Cloud to the north. She closed her eyes and decided to Breathe In the Air for a few minutes. When she opened her eyes she saw something that No Eye Had Seen…a Free Bird with Mighty Wings that she didn’t recognize. It was flying around in Circles as if it was stuck on a record player. She also noticed that there was Something in the Air, like a Distant Early Warning of an oncoming storm. She wasn’t afraid of what might come. “I Will Not Be Afraid!”, she muttered to herself.

After waiting for about ten minutes, the twins arrived.

“Sorry we were late,” said Hannah. “We were having Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

“Who’s Tiffany?” asked Amanda.

“She is our cousin.” replied Liza. “Did you eat before you came?”

“Yeah, my mom served me Breakfast in Bed today.” Even Amanda was surprised at her mom because it wasn’t a special day as far as she could remember. Regardless, she was grateful. “Anyway, let’s go.”

Crossing this Bridge Over Troubled Waters left Amanda a little bit nervous, especially considering the side rails weren’t very high and would be easy to fall over. But as soon as they reached the other side, her nerves relaxed and they started to head down what seemed to be a Road To Nowhere.

“Where are we going?” asked Amanda.

No Place That Far.” responded Liza. “Just Around the River Bend and we will be there. Our dad said that we just have to Stay On These Roads and we will get there in about thirty minutes.

As they continued down the path Amanda wondered what time it was. “Do either of you have a watch?” she asked.

Hannah was first to respond. “No we don’t but I Can Hear the Bells from the Highland Cathedral so it must be 10:00. That is when the meetings start.

A few minutes passed by and road seemed to open up into a Dream World. It was Half a World Away yet so close to where they lived that it would only be a Short Trip Home. Off to the west side of the road, the trees opened up into Fields of Gold wildflowers where the girls were Breaking Free from normal life that they live. They ran around, laughing and playing, giving out the occasional Shout for joy. It was a day when Nothing Else Matters and they could just have fun. After all, Girls Just Want To Have Fun and they were definitely enjoying themselves on this particular day. And if the weather would hold out, they would be able to do this for Seven Sundays in a row. What better way to feel like you’re On Top of the World.

After a couple of hours they realized they had been gone for a Long Time. They wished they had More Time to play but it was time to go Home. And that is how the story ends. There is Nothing Left to Say except Thank You, and I hope you can Enjoy the Silence as you Imagine every song in your mind the next time you read it. And if you want to try this yourself, please share back. The only rule is that the song has to be in your iTunes library.

Just another view from a Palmtree…