I wasn’t a big fan of The Bangles growing up. Still not one. But thanks to a group of six fraudsters, this coming Monday just may be a “Manic Monday” for a couple hundred thousand people. Why you may ask? Because they might not be able to connect to the internet to watch The Bangles on YouTube.
What? Isn’t that a normal Monday for a lot of people. It seems that way for me and my 250+ co-workers. We get to work ready to start the week and many people jump on the internet to see what they missed over the weekend when they disconnected from reality…I mean technology. We face the same problems. Sometimes we can connect to the internet, sometimes we can’t. Sometimes it is slow, and other times it is slower. (I’m still waiting for the day we have a really fast connection…maybe I need to have a dedicated T-1 line straight to my computer.)
Apparently this coming Monday is different. Those six fraudsters created the “DNS Changer”, a malware that redirected users to websites that generated millions in advertising fees. Fees that the six fraudsters were to pocket…or maybe they did pocket…before they got caught. But this is supposed to be such a big event that the FBI got involved.
If the FBI gets involved, it must be huge. I mean, originally there were somewhere between one and two billion people that could be affected by this. But no, in all actuality, there are less than 200,000 computers that could still be affected. That’s a whopping 2-100ths of a percent. Those are big numbers. Don’t believe me? Look at it this way. If you could have 2-100ths of a percent of Bill Gates annual income, you would be considered among the rich in Barack Obama’s eyes. You wouldn’t qualify for any of the government benefits that he assures to those that make less than $250k per year. You would be making more than 5 times my salary. I would gladly take that kind of an increase in salary.
So those .02 percent of computers that may be affected still by this malware may not have a very happy Monday on July 9th. That is probably why it has already been coined as “Malware Monday”. That is a goofy moniker, in my opinion, but the media has had no problem using it. So in the spirit of monikerizing (I don’t think that is a word because my automatic spell checker is flagging it but I will use it anyway and see if it sticks) the days of the week, here are some ideas of my own:
Television-free Tuesday: There isn’t anything really that great to watch during the summer. Besides, that .02 percent of people will still be trying to get their computer to connect to the internet. If the best entertainment that can be offered on TV is “America’s Got Talent”, I would rather watch my chickens molt. Everything else is a re-run, chicken molting is a first time experience for me. Oh wait; I just realized there is a new show called “Trust Us With Your Life” on ABC that day. If you liked “Whose Line Is It Anyway”, you are bound to like this…same actors, but this time making fun of real celebrities’ lives. Maybe for those that want to watch we can call it “Trust Us Tuesday”.
Wednesday…I can’t think of a moniker I like for Wednesday. I have always referred to Wednesday as hump-day; because we got over the hump of the week and were on the downward slide toward the weekend (get your mind out of the gutter). Maybe for next week though we can call it “Wild Web Wednesday” as I am sure at least half of that .02 percent of people will finally be re-connecting to the web. Watch for some exciting Facebook posts from those fools…I mean folks. (L, K, and O are so close to each other on the keyboard it is easy to mistakenly type one of them and change words.)
For Thursday I am going to start a trend and call it Thursday the 12th. Why? Because next Friday is Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th is a moniker that sticks and I can’t change it, not even for this blog, so why not start calling Thursday before Friday the 13th by the name “Thursday the 12th”? It doesn’t have to be associated with bad luck or anything like that. It can be associated with donuts. Or M&M’s. Or a day off of work while still getting paid. Sounds good to me.
Friday…well, I can’t change next week’s moniker for Friday without changing the whole calendar. Any other week Friday can be referred to as Early Friday…as in get off work early on Friday to start the weekend. I will have to talk to my boss about that. You can too.
Saturday is Saturday. It is the weekend. It doesn’t need a moniker to accompany it. Unless you want to call it “Sit Around Saturday” which doesn’t happen for me during the summer because of yard work. “Sit Around Saturday” for me doesn’t start until September when college football is on TV.
Who am I kidding? I don’t sit around watching football all day on Saturday. Sometimes I wish I could. That doesn’t mean that you can’t.
With all this monikerizing going on, we are bound to get confused about every day of the week. It won’t be just Monday’s that are manic. The whole idea is bound to give The Bangles a chance at a come-back tour. All because six guys wanted to make a few bucks.
Thanks guys. You confused me, and in turn, I have probably confused my readers. Or lost them all. At least I have my internet connection for a couple more days.
Just another view from a Palmtree.